Strange Disciple

This is Strange Disciple from my collection My Mother is an Old Elephant. It's inspired by a marginal note I found in in the gospel of Luke in an old KJV bible. The note related to the story of the man who was casting out demons in the Lord's name and was rebuked by the disciples because he wasn't one of them. That was years back, and now I don't know exactly where I found it. 

It reminds me of one of my favourite quotations from the late Henri Nouwen, the Catholic priest, writer and social activist, who said:

"When the imitation of Christ does not mean to live a life like Christ, but to live your life as authentically as Christ lived his, then there are many ways and forms in which a man can be a Christian."

Enjoy!

Strange Disciple

Held no creed
believed in what he could believe
bending like a flaxen reed.
Blessing where blessing lacked
healed heavy souls and broken-backed.
Never knew the master’s gaze,
fought with his men
who thought they had the rights back then
not recognising whom they praised.
Spent his long days doing good
caring, mending, defending
putting heart in heartless places
winning some,
losing more
never keeping score.
Now buried with a single stone
by half-men from among the tombs
who knew a saint by smell alone
and waited for the carnival to leave
then carved his name
and beat their breast
full men at their very best.

Who was that man, he’d often thought
who threw the fire that he had caught?

Thomas Moore on Dark Nights of the Soul

I have just finished reading this most beautiful book by Thomas Moore, former monk and now a career psychotherapist in private practice, and am still digesting its deep and human wisdom. He writes lucidly and profundly about how to find meaning from within the challenges that life presents to us. But while my soul's gastric juices are doing their hidden cud-chewing work, I wanted to share some lines from his final chapter. Here goes:

"I realize that I am far out of step with the times in recommending numinosity rather than health as a goal. Ours is still a therapeutic society that values the removal of symptoms over the soul's sparkle and shine. But just as the unicorn's horn was valued for its inspiring beauty and yet guaranteed health and beauty, so letting your spark light up a dark and dangerous world is a way of healing both you and your world.

"Nothing could be more precious, then, than a dark night of the soul, the very darkness of which allows your lunar light to shine. It may be painful, discouraging, and challenging, but it is nevertheless an important revelation of what your life is about. In that darkness you see things you couldn't see in the daylight. Skills and powers of soul emerge from your frustration and ignorance. The seeds of spiritual faith, perhaps your only recourse but certainly a valuable power, are found in your darkness. The other half of who you are comes into view, and through the dark night you are completed.

"You become the wounded healer, someone who has made the descent and knows the territory. You take on a depth of color and range of feeling. Your intelligence is now more deeply rooted and not dependent only on facts and reason. Your darkness has given you character and color and capacity. You are now free to make a real contribution. It is a gift of your dark night of the soul!"

There is much blessing in these words for me, and in the rest of this life-affirming book from a lifelong student of the human soul. We cannot avoid suffering but we can try to transform it into something healing and humane.

You can find the book here.