Cakes of Conscience - a Business Opportunity

If you're in the UK, you might have heard recently about a public row over the refusal by a 'Christian' bakery owner to supply a wedding cake to a gay couple who wanted the cake topped with two men rather than a man and a woman. Such was the offence taken that legal challenges were being prepared, lawyers being instructed, columns being written in mainstream media, vox pop phone-ins on the radio were lighting up all over the country, and the old, old phrase "inalienable human rights" was being dusted off and dragged into the daylight.

I was a bit bemused. It's a f***king cake.

Then I began to see a business opportunity....Let me know what you think. Here's how it goes...

"I'd like to introduce you to Cakes of Conscience. We will take your cake order and match it with a baker of your specification who will ensure that it is created with the ingredients of your choice to produce a masterwork for your event.

It may take a little time to ramp up all the multifarious combinations required, so please don't sue us because we haven't yet found a lesbian Catholic lacto-vegetarian or a black atheist organic-only Labour voter or a conservative evangelical bigot or an interfaith paleo expert. We know they are all out there, we just haven't had time to hire them yet.

If you just want a simple, heterosexual, white-icing kind of thing, we can do that too,though we'd like you to know that you're missing out on such a lot by limiting yourself in this way, and you'll probably never be happy ever again as a result (Note: we have removed our surcharge on white icing after taking legal advice).

By the way, we don't insist on any formal baking qualifications from our carefully selected panel of bakers, so although we'll probably offend your taste buds, we won't offend your views - in fact, we'll make sure our cakes are not challenging in any way to your brittle sense of yourself.

Small print: Because of our hiring policies (see above), prices start at £15,000 and you need to order at least 2 years in advance.

Cakes of Conscience...Warning! May contain nuts."

How about a crowdfunding project to get things off the ground? Kerrching! I can hear the tills already.......


Are you a writer who wants to change a life?

After reading my Help for unemployed people section, Mark Hill in Ottawa, Canada ( has brought this to my attention:

I'll be signing up for that - if you're able to help in the same way, please, fill your boots!

Random act of kindness, paying it forward, or just being a member of the human race - however you frame it, just do it.