I read recently that, during a normal, uneventful landing of a commercial airliner, at a particular point during the landing, the co-pilot will ask the pilot to 'decide' whether to land or not. Most of the time, the pilot will decide to 'land.' For safety reasons even the most predictable and prosaic activities are the subject of a decision, to prevent any misunderstandings, or perhaps to prevent assumptions, or drifting, or failing to be aware of purpose and circumstance.
Of course we want the plane to land. But the pilots can still decide otherwise. 99.9% of the time they won't, but the least controversial option, to land, is still a choice.
I found this a handy lesson in taking reponsibility for everything that we do - good, bad or indifferent. Where we feel we have no choice (going to work, attending family events, not going to the gym, staying married for the sake of your kids, going for a big career change), if we take responsibility at a radical level by acknowledging that we choose every moment of every day, then we begin to achieve a way of approaching life that is sometimes described as 'living on purpose.'
Of course, much of materialist philosophy is keen to tell us that we have no choices, that genes determine everything we are and do and think and say. But which turns out to be the more empowering approach - the one that denies me any choice, or the one that insists that I take responsibility?
Living mindfully, in a way that is radically responsible for everything that our life embraces, gives us a grown-up, blame-free focus, and this has a most excellent accruing benefit - it becomes much easier to forgive other people because we know we have played our part in any wronging that we feel. We must still feel the wrong, and deal with the pain, but the ladder out of that particular pit suddenly becomes easier to find.